What is bertekul in a Sarawak Malay wedding?
The stage where the woman receives a gold ring as the tanda tekul, confirming she accepts the betrothal. Mas kahwin and hantaran are discussed at the same time.
Updated: 6 October 2026
Melayu Sarawak Wedding Customs: Ngangin, Bertekul and Nasi Temuan
Melayu Sarawak weddings use their own words for steps the peninsula also has. Merisik becomes ngangin, the ring that marks a betrothal is the tekul, and the first meal the couple share is nasi temuan. A few customs have no peninsular equivalent at all, like berjembak on the dais. This guide covers the Sarawak Malay sequence only. Iban, Bidayuh, Melanau and Orang Ulu weddings follow their own adat and deserve their own write-ups.
Before the engagement: merasi and ngangin
JKKN's cultural mapping entry for Sarawak lists merasi first. A young man tells his parents he is ready to marry, and the family looks for a suitable match, traditionally through respected people in the community who knew which households had daughters of age. Most couples today have already found each other, so merasi is often skipped or reduced to the parents giving their blessing.
Ngangin is the formal inquiry. A representative of the man's family goes to the woman's family to ask, officially, whether she is free and whether the family is open to a proposal. It plays the same role as merisik in the peninsula.
Bertekul: the ring that seals it
Bertekul is the step most specific to Sarawak. The woman receives a gold ring on her ring finger as the tanda tekul, the sign that she accepts the betrothal. The two families also use this meeting to talk about the mas kahwin and the hantaran.
If you come from the peninsula, think of bertekul as the moment the deal is done. Everything after it is ceremony. Sarawak's mas kahwin is RM120 for a first marriage or a remarriage, set by the state, and families agree the hantaran on top of that. Check the current figure with the Majlis Islam Sarawak or your jurunikah when you file the forms.
Meminang and the gift exchange
On an agreed date after the bertekul, the man's family sends a rombongan meminang with gifts. Written accounts list money, the engagement ring, clothing, shoes and handbags. The bride's family answers with gifts of its own, such as clothes and kain baju Melayu.
One detail catches peninsular families off guard. In Sarawak Malay custom the bride's side is usually expected to return more than it received, not one tray more but noticeably more. If you are the groom's family, do not read the generous return as a statement. It is the custom.
The night before: berlulut, mandi perantan and berpacar
The night before the wedding is the berlulut, a preparation ceremony for the bride. It includes mandi perantan, a ritual bath given by the mak andam, and berpacar, the Sarawak word for berinai. Close family and friends gather while the bride's fingers are stained.
Some families combine berlulut with a tepung tawar, where elders sprinkle a paste of rice flour and water with a bundle of leaves over the bride as a blessing. A 2020 paper on Sarawak Malay weddings studied the tepung tawar on its own, item by item, for what each ingredient stands for. Families who drop most of the old steps often keep this one.
On the dais: berjembak
Berjembak happens during the bersanding. The groom touches the bride's forehead with his thumb, using a scented cloth. It is a small gesture and easy to miss, so tell your photographer about it. It does not appear in most peninsular weddings, and Sarawak relatives will notice if it is left out.
Nasi temuan and mengundang menantu
Nasi temuan is the couple's first meal together, held in the afternoon or evening after the reception with family and close friends. The aim is to get the newlyweds comfortable with each other. In a time of arranged matches, the bride and groom might barely have spoken before the akad.
About seven days after the wedding comes mengundang menantu. The bride visits her husband's family home, and her mother-in-law gives her a gift to welcome her into the house.
| Custom | What happens | When |
|---|---|---|
| Merasi | Family looks for a suitable match | Before any approach |
| Ngangin | Formal inquiry to the woman's family | Once a match is found |
| Bertekul | Gold ring as tanda tekul; mas kahwin and hantaran agreed | Before the meminang |
| Meminang | Rombongan with gifts; bride's side returns more | Agreed date after bertekul |
| Berlulut and berpacar | Mandi perantan and henna | Night before the wedding |
| Berjembak | Groom touches bride's forehead with his thumb | During bersanding |
| Nasi temuan | Couple's first meal with family | Afternoon or evening after |
| Mengundang menantu | Bride visits in-laws and receives a welcome gift | About seven days after |
Planning a Sarawak wedding in 2027
Sarawak schools are in Kumpulan B. The 2027 mid-year break runs from 22 May to 6 June and the year-end break starts on 4 December. Hari Gawai falls on 1 and 2 June 2027, inside the mid-year break. If your guest list includes Iban or Bidayuh colleagues and friends, a wedding on the Gawai weekend means many of them will be at their own family's longhouse or kampung.
If relatives are flying in from the peninsula, the school holidays are also when fares to Kuching and Miri climb. Send the date early so they can book. A save the date three to four months out gives them the best prices.
Frequently asked questions
What is ngangin?
The formal inquiry made by the man's family to ask whether the woman is free to marry. It is the Sarawak equivalent of merisik.
What is nasi temuan?
The newlyweds' first meal together after the wedding, eaten with family and close friends to help the couple get comfortable with each other.
How much is mas kahwin in Sarawak?
RM120 for both first marriages and remarriages. Families can agree to more. Confirm the current rate with the state religious authorities.
What is berpacar?
The Sarawak Malay term for berinai, the henna ceremony, usually held during the berlulut the night before the wedding.
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